Saturday, May 30, 2009

Audrey's Debut

With Bryan away at a Volleyball tournament this afternoon, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to weasel my way into his blog and publish a post!

First, and I've been waiting a long time for this, I'm publicly endorsing a baby product. As if consumer culture hasn't already infiltrated every other media, now it's in a private baby blog. But this product is important. This product could even be described, without embellishment, as life changing. I implore it for friends, children, grandchildren, adolescents who might engage in activities that leave them with level of consciousness similar to an infant...
Sean has been completely and utterly transfixed. His eyes dilate in attraction. In fact, I'm pretty sure, over and beyond breastmilk, that the Flutterbug is his first love.

Flutterbug's siren song--a dainty, though not annoying, music box piece--only scratches the surface of his multitudinous charms. His true beauty lies in his wholly round, basketball orange face replete with enormous googly eyes, blue beetle antennae, and inconceivably, freckles. Though he's missing half of a smile and only sports one eyebrow, his unique face sucks babies in like little lambs to the slaughter. Once entranced, Flutterbug hypnotizes with his gently turning, little beetle wings. Splashed with bright and highly contrasting prints, the Flutterbug's spell is sealed by the primary color ribbons that flick with every revolution. Sean has peed on these very ribbons and they have lost not a whit of power. The Flutterbug is invincible.

Sean is waking up from a nap in my lap so I will have to leave for now. In other news from the neighborhood...we have new neighbors both above and below us, neither of which Bryan is too keen about. He is convinced that the observant Muslims moving in are probably linked to Al Qaeda, and he believes the basement neighbors are infiltrating the complex with unsavory characters. In fact, our Polish friend from across the hall had his car broken into the other night and his GPS stolen. On a positive note Bryan's arch nemesis, the neighbor across the street infamous for stealing our parking spots with his enormous black SUV (The Deathstar), has inexplicably disappeared. This, in tandem with the good golf weather, has I believe increased Bryan's happiness tenfold.


  1. Well done Audrey. So the Deathstar is gone, Al Qaeda has moved in, but with Flutterbug at the changing table helm; somehow all is right with the world.

  2. yay!!! auds' blogging debut :).

    these pics are shoooooooooo shweeeeeeeeeet.

    and aren't you afraid of al qaeda finding this blog-post and targeting you?